my astrological chart: revisited
a long time ago, in a galaxy not too unlike this one, i did my astrological chart online.
lots finally made sense. for one, i had an explanation as to why i’m not only the least organised virgo ever, but also the least repressed.
i also had an explanation as to why i liked big hair and the arts. not to mention a reason it takes me a long time to connect with people and i’m squicky about being touched.
as much as i know astrology isn’t the be-all-end-all of why we are the way we are—growing up with systemic internalised homophobia that takes a lifetime to upack and a gradual unravelling of familial psychoses are obviously much more apt—and that we’ve made it a bit of a joke in the queer community that most queer girls* and nonbinary people love it, it’s still a neat way to think about our personal traumas without dealing with the facts of the matter.
in any case, this morning i woke up and asked myself, “if my venus is in leo, why do i feel cold and shut off to the prospect of ever having a meaningful relationship?”
and since i’d rather not delve into my psychological issues this early on a saturday morning, or the fact i have plenty of solid, meaningful, loving and irreplaceable platonic relationships proves i actually can connect to people, meant that, obviously, i was going to revisit my astrological chart for the crack.
You love to be the center of attention and you want to appear strong, confident and dominant. You are very proud of yourself, sometimes quite vain even. When all around you are bedraggled and falling apart, you look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honorable, you enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. You are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress you only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn your head). You prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as your budget allows. Physically, you are very impressive – – at your best you have a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. Try not to be such a showoff!
Extremely careful and cautious by nature, you value neatness and order above all else. You rigorously practice very high standards of living and conduct and you demand the same of everyone with whom you come into contact. At times, you are so supercritical that you are merely nit-picky. You are very good at practical skills and quite handy with tools of all kinds. You are also greatly concerned with hygiene, cleanliness and personal health problems. Very likely your health is much better than you think it is – don’t worry so much! Extremely methodical and analytical, you are a perfectionist – this makes you the perfect person to carry out highly detailed, precise operations. But, at times, you pay so much attention to details that you lose sight of the larger issues.
Very freedom-oriented, you must always be able to do what you wish, no matter what. You become stubborn and recalcitrant when others try to force you into a mold. You are a true democrat – you are not a follower, but you enjoy being with those who are like-minded. You appreciate emotional self-control – you practice it yourself and you look for it in others. You solve problems, including emotional ones, with your brains and intellect, not your feelings. Try to be tolerant of those who have powerful and obvious emotional responses – not everyone is as objective, cool, dispassionate and detached as you are.
You are usually quite convinced that your own ideas are correct and you enjoy persuading others that they are. At times, you are very stubborn and proud of your beliefs and principles, and you get very defensive when they are challenged. You appreciate truth and honesty – you practice it yourself and expect it in others. You have good talent for organizing, directing and planning. You delight in being asked for your advice and counsel.
You have a striking, regal appearance and demeanor that attracts others to you. Your friendship is highly sought and you tend to take friendships quite seriously – you remain loyal and true to those to whom you are attached. For you, love is mixed with pride and respect. Relationships are over when you lose respect for your partner. Be careful of a tendency to relate only to those who make you look good – the powerful, important and influential. This can lead to arrogance and selfishness, and neither of these qualities becomes you.
You are a very proud person. Strong, bold, courageous and self-possessed, you love to be the one to initiate significant actions. When people expect a lot of you, you respond positively and will work hard in order to maintain their respect. But when your dignity or pride is threatened, you tend to become sarcastic, arrogant and domineering. Try not to take any challenge or resistance that you meet as a personal affront. You are very stubborn about your right to live your life according to your own principles.
Your personal growth occurs when you have the freedom to do things in new and interesting ways – this brings out your natural inventiveness. You are an individualist, but you are also attracted to mass movements that emphasize social betterment and you will devote much time and energy to their efforts. Very fair- minded and objective, you have extraordinary skills at organization and administration.
You tend to release emotional energies only very reluctantly. This is partly due to your fear of what horrible calamity might occur should they be released – your emotions are terribly complicated and intense. Try not to repress these energies entirely, however, or you will succumb to negative and destructive forms of compulsive behavior. Give yourself the freedom to look awkward or silly once in a while. The relief you feel will be quite therapeutic and the embarrassment (whether it is real or imagined) will pass quickly.
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world.
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts.
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search.